Transcription

Connor:
You’re listening to The Bible Guys, a podcast where a couple of friends talk about the Bible in fun and practical ways.

Chris:
Well, welcome to The Bible Guys. What do you think?

Jeff:
Well, no, I think that didn’t work for me. No? No, no, no. It was a little jazzy.

Chris:
You ever see Spongebob where he goes, Krusty Krab? Maybe I should have took that route. The Bible guys! The Bible guys!

Jeff:
Whatever. I thought you were going to sing Good Morning. Oh, well, I had to switch it up. Okay. Wow. That was incredible. You are so talented.

Chris:
Well, you know, thank you for tuning in for this lame welcome.

Jeff:
But hey, if the ministry doesn’t work out for you, maybe you have a future in jingles.

Chris:
Jingles? Yeah. Well, that’s a business. Please call me for your next jingle. Is that even a thing anymore? I don’t know. In the 50s, I’m sure it was. I don’t know. So, hey, we are Jeff and Chris. We’re the Bible Guys, and we are just welcoming you to the next episode, which is this one. And we are starting off with a segment called, Would You Rather?

Jeff:
Oh, I like would you rathers.

Chris:
Yeah, and we have not read these. I have not. Because we want to read them in real time.

Jeff:
Right now. So we’re just going to just… Let’s do it. Pick. Let’s do it.

Chris:
You want to do the first one?

Jeff:
Would you rather only communicate using emojis or only communicate using GIFs?

Chris:
Oh, I know immediately the answer.

Jeff:
What is it?

Chris:
GIFs for me. Yeah? Yeah, GIFs, yeah. Yeah. GIFs are so, they’re so widespread. I think there’s way more GIFs than there are emojis, first of all. Yeah. And, uh, which is hard to believe. Um, emojis are pretty direct thumbs up, praise, hands, all that stuff. But GIFs are so funny.

Jeff:
They’re funny. A lot of them are funny. Yeah. I choose funny. Yeah. Okay.

Chris:
All right. Number, number two, would you rather have a pet dinosaur or a pet dragon? Is this even a competition? A dinosaur I fear. A dragon I guess I fear too, but I’ve seen House of the Dragon. I’ve seen Game of Thrones. I think that I’d rather try to ride a dragon. Really? And have it be my pet.

Jeff:
Really? Yeah, be the next Khaleesi. So I thought, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I thought dinosaur, not dragon.

Chris:
Why?

Jeff:
Because not all dinosaurs were violent. Dragons are by nature, you know, big teeth, big claws, fire out of their mouths. But remember, you mean, and hey, there are dinosaurs. Remember the dinosaurs that were just eating, eating the leaves in Jurassic Park and sneezed on them? Yes.

Chris:
Those were nice. You ever see the Lion King, the cartoon when they found Simba in the desert? Yes. And he goes, I have an idea. What if he was on our side? That’s true. If a dragon was on your side, Yeah. Then you’d be the man. I don’t know.

Jeff:
Yeah. I was, I chose dinosaur. You chose dragon. Okay. That’s all right.

Chris:
Let’s let’s just move on. Number number.

Jeff:
Oh, you read the third one. Yeah. Would you rather have your voice sound like Mickey mouse or Darth Vader?

Chris:
That can’t be a real question.

Jeff:
That was a great one. That is a great one.

Chris:
Hi, my name is Chris.

Jeff:
I want to be Darth Vader. Yeah. Luke. Darth Vader. I would choose Darth Vader over Mickey Mouse.

Chris:
Well, not only that, but Darth Vader’s voice technically is James Earl Jones, who’s one of the best voices in the universe.

Jeff:
Ever. Yes. Ever in humanity. Yes. And so it makes for good preaching. Yes. It’d be hard to preach like Mickey Mouse.

Chris:
Yes, it really would. Although you’d have to deal with the whole the breathing sounds that’d be irritating. Yeah, it’s still Okay. So the other one is would you rather have to speak? Would you rather have to speak in pig Latin for a week or wear a kick me sign on your back for a day?

Jeff:
Oh Man kick me for a day.

Chris:
Really? Yeah Yeah. Yeah. Well kick me Be pretty violent, depending on who sees it.

Jeff:
Because it doesn’t say it’s the only sign I could wear.

Chris:
Oh my goodness.

Jeff:
Are you trying to do a workaround? So then I’d have a sign below it that says, kick me and find out. And then I’d just put underneath it and find out. That’s what I do. So I’d put two signs up.

Chris:
Oh man. That’s a workaround, dude. The intent of the question.

Jeff:
Is to be kicked all day.

Chris:
To be punished by being kicked all day. Otherwise, it’s not a competition. Come on, Jeff. Yeah.

Jeff:
Okay.

Chris:
All right. But, but pig Latin, which I already speak fluently.

Jeff:
You’re good at pig Latin.

Chris:
So I could go ahead and say pig Latin for a week for me. That’s what I choose. Yeah. But I’d have to speak with somebody who also speaks pig Latin. Yes. So it’s a conditional answer.

Jeff:
Would you rather have a permanent clown smile or a permanent clown nose?

Chris:
Permanent for all time? Oh my gosh. That is a pretty funny question.

Jeff:
That’s a great one. These are good ones.

Chris:
A permanent clown smile. You couldn’t even interact with somebody.

Jeff:
Well, you’d be like the Joker. Remember the, who was the really crazy Joker? Not the crazy one, the earlier Joker. Jack Nicholson. Oh yeah. Remember his permanent smile? Yes. Yeah.

Chris:
That one. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, and then, uh, yeah, there’s a different, different versions of the joker. I don’t want to get into all that.

Jeff:
Um, but that one was like this really fabricated permanent.

Chris:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, a permanent clown knows you could get past, people would look and go, oh my goodness. And then you’d have to be like, yeah, and explain it away.

Jeff:
It’s as clear as the nose on my face.

Chris:
But Wizard of Oz 1939. There you go. But the idea of a clown nose, gosh, I mean, the smile would just creep everybody out. You would be avoided forever. I’d have to choose the nose.

Jeff:
You’d choose the nose? The clown nose? You’d have to. That’s awesome.

Chris:
Okay. You couldn’t walk around with that permanent smile.

Jeff:
Des, you elevated your game today. This was a good one. Yeah, that was a good one. These were really difficult would-you-rathers.

Chris:
I agree. Yep. I agree, although Pet Dragon, yeah, I still like that idea. I think you’re wrong on that one. I like it.

Jeff:
Okay, well, hey, as advertised in the previous episode, Moses is going to argue with God, which is always a good idea. Let me just say, when you have a disagreement, argue with the creator of the universe. That’s always

Chris:
But you know what? It does give us permission to argue with God, because David argues with God, Moses argues with God, Abraham argues with God. God never says, stop it! He never says, how dare you? He doesn’t say that. God is willing to hear our thoughts, even if they’re unreasonable, just like Job, right? Job, last couple of podcasts, for chapters and chapters, he goes on. And then God finally says, OK, fine, I’ll respond now. But he never says, Job, how dare you? So God’s not afraid of our arguing.

Jeff:
It’s just he does say to Job, how dare you? Where were you when I made this? Where were you when I made this?

Chris:
No, no. What I’m saying is he never says, don’t you dare argue with me.

Jeff:
Oh, yeah. That’s what I’m saying. Yeah. In verse 14 here, God gets mad at Moses for arguing with him. So it comes up. Verse 14, it literally says, then the Lord became angry with Moses. Verse 14. We’ll get to it. Let’s read the story. Let’s read the story.

Chris:
People are riveted now. Let’s be clear. I’m going to wait to get to verse 14 and say verse 14 is a little different.

Jeff:
Okay, here you go. It says, we’re in Exodus chapter 4 verse 1. It’s so good, it’s so good. But Moses protested again. What if they won’t believe me or listen to me? What if they say the Lord never appeared to you? Then the Lord asked him, what is that in your hand? A shepherd’s staff, Moses replied. Throw it down on the ground, the Lord told him. So Moses threw down a staff and it turned into a snake. Moses jumped back. Then the Lord told him, reach out and grab its tail. So Moses reached out and grabbed it and it turned back into a shepherd’s staff in his hand. Perform this sign, the Lord told him, and then they’ll believe that the Lord, the God of their ancestors, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, really has appeared to you. Then the Lord said to Moses, Now put your hand inside your cloak. So Moses put his hand inside his cloak, and when he took it out again, his hand was white as snow with a severe skin disease, like leprosy. Now put your hand back into your cloak, the Lord said. So Moses put his hand back in, and when he took it out again, it was healthy as the rest of his body. Lord said to Moses, if they did not believe you and are not convinced by the first miraculous sign, they will be convinced by the second sign. If they don’t believe you or listen to you, even after these two signs, then take some water from the Nile river, pour it on the dry ground. And when you do the water from the Nile will turn to blood on the ground. But Moses pleaded with the Lord, Oh Lord, I’m not very good with words. I’ve never been. And I’m not now, even though you’ve spoken to me, I get tongue tied and my words get tangled. The Lord asked Moses, who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go, I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say. But Moses again pleaded, Lord, please send anyone else. And then the Lord became angry with Moses. All right, he said, what about your brother Aaron, the Levite? I know he speaks well, and look, he’s on his way to meet you now. He’ll be delighted to see you. Talk to him and put the words in his mouth, and I’ll be with both of you as you speak. I’ll instruct you both in what to do. Aaron will be your spokesman to the people. He’ll be your mouthpiece, and you’ll stand in the place of God for him, telling him what to say. And take your shepherd’s staff with you, and use it to perform the miraculous signs I’ve shown you. So Moses went back to his home.

Chris:
First of all, that’s an amazing passage altogether. And I would defend myself a little bit by saying this, is that after all of the arguing and after all the rebuttals, Moses said no to God, and that’s when God got angry. So the debating of going back and forth and reasoning with God, that’s what I consider arguing.

Jeff:
I knew that was going to be your defense.

Chris:
And then all the arguing gets over. God literally takes away every single complaint, every excuse that Moses has. And then Moses says, send somebody else. No, I don’t want to go. I’m not going. And then so God’s like, okay, now I’m mad. Now you’re making me mad.

Jeff:
You’re just making excuses at this point.

Chris:
But at least he doesn’t smite him.

Jeff:
Right. Right. Smite him.

Chris:
Yeah. Smite me almighty smiter.

Jeff:
Which by the way is a fabulous word. Yes. Just the whole idea of smiting. What movie? I don’t know.

Chris:
Smite me almighty smiter.

Jeff:
Oh, uh, uh, Evan Almighty. Bruce Almighty. Bruce Almighty. I knew it was one of the Almighty’s.

Chris:
So, um, Yeah, so again, I made reference yesterday that I just recently preached a message. And so to summarize Moses’ excuses is, you know, yesterday he said to God, hey, I’m a nobody. And then today he says, hey, I’m not a communicator. And then he says, I’m not convincing. And then finally he ends up saying, okay, fine, send somebody else. I don’t want to go. So he has all these different excuses. And every single time God answers with either a truth or a promise. And the truth is like, Hey, I’m going to be with you. Here’s the promise. I’m going to be with you. Hey, go ahead and, you know, I’ll give you miracles. That’s the promise. So he gives Moses all these different things. And sometimes when we go up against God and say, God, I don’t want to do this thing, we have to actually measure our fears and our excuses against the promises of God today. right? So, if God equips us, if God calls us, if God asks us, you know, to step out in faith, we have to cling to the promises of the Scriptures, you know, because they’re just as relevant for us today as these direct words were to Moses, right?

Jeff:
Yeah, I don’t think he could fathom how, I mean, ultimately he comes down to, I think his best argument isn’t, people aren’t going to believe me. Man, when God makes it possible for you to turn water into blood and, you know, turn your hand to leprosy and turn your staff into a snake, you kind of go, okay, people are kind of going to believe that. Now it turns into, I don’t think I can. So at first it was, they’re not going to believe me. Why? I don’t have any credibility. God goes, I’ll give you credibility. Well, then I don’t think I can do it. I’ve never been good at speech class. I’ve always been terrified. I’m always a little tongue tied. I’m a stutterer, whatever. God’s argument was, who made your mouth? Of course you can say what you need to say. You’re saying it because I’m telling you to say it. And even then, Moses, after having seen his staff turn into a snake and his hand turn into leprosy, He’s not convinced God can use him. I think a lot of times our inadequacies or our perceived inadequacies become so strong that even when we’ve seen God do other miraculous things, we still refuse to believe that God can use us. And that’s when God gets a little upset with Moses. Yeah.

Chris:
Right. And here’s such a great overlooked verse in this whole dialogue. Verse number two, the Lord asked him, what is that in your hand? He says, a shepherd’s staff, Moses replied. Now, what’s so interesting about this is, first of all, do you think God didn’t know it was a shepherd’s staff? So he’s asking Moses to identify what’s in his hand. He says, a shepherd’s staff. Now, if you think about it, that staff represented three things in Moses’ life. It represented his identity. It was who he was, right? When you see somebody walking down a road, you know, and they have a shepherd’s staff, you know, they’re a shepherd, right?

Jeff:
So it is- I’m going to bet that guy’s a shepherd.

Chris:
Right. It is who he is.

Jeff:
Or a stickball player. Those are the two.

Chris:
He’s either a stickball player or he’s a shepherd.

Jeff:
One of the two.

Chris:
So I’m pretty sure it’s a shepherd’s staff. So it’s his identity. The second thing it represents is his income. Right. So it’s, it’s basically that shepherd staff represents his livelihood. Right. The third thing it represents is his influence. Right. So his, his position is title. Yeah. And then, and so, and then the next verse that, you know, the very next words, it says, throw it down on the ground. And then, you know, basically he’s saying, throw it down on the ground and watch what I can do with it. So I think to myself, surrender it, surrender it. So it’s like, God asks us to throw down our identity, our income, our influence, everything that men especially hold dear. It’s like, this is who I am. This is what I do. This is how I provide. And he says, no, no, no. God says, throw it down, lay it before me and watch what I can do with it. Surrender it. don’t hang on to these things thinking that they’re yours, give them to me.” And God will give us a new identity. He’ll take our income and do great things with it. He’ll take our influence and multiply it exponentially if we just simply give it to Him. But in our own hands, it can only be so many things, right? It’ll never be miraculous. It’ll be ordinary, and if we give it to God, it’ll be extraordinary.

Jeff:
Wow. That’s good. That’s a sermon. That is it. You should preach it. I already did. Yes, you did. That was a good one. Yes. So then Moses, with this, miracle after miracle after miracle, still struggling with going, okay, God, you got this. And he still thinks it’s him. And how narcissistic are we that we still think it’s us? Right. So I, okay, God, listen, I hear what you’re saying. Yes. The problem is I know me better than you know me. Right. And I know my circumstances better than you know, my circumstances. So I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I stutter. Yeah. I stutter. Right. Right. I don’t know if you heard. Yeah. But that’s and it’s just today.

Chris:
Happy Gilmore. Yeah. No, I’m sorry. Billy Madison.

Jeff:
So the, The absurd thing is we as humans still tend to think we know more than God knows. And that somehow we have some kind of inside information that God doesn’t have. And I think that that’s where It shifts from, oh, I get it. You’re a little nervous. Let me help you out. Yeah. Matter of fact, that’s nothing. Stick your hand in your shirt. Watch this. Right. That’s nothing. That’s nothing. Get some water and pour it out on the ground. Right. And so God’s helping Moses out here. Hey, I get it. You’re a little nervous. People aren’t going to believe you. Here’s some authority. Go in my name. Right. That’s what we talked about yesterday. Use my name. People are going to believe you. If they don’t, do these things. I gave you three, three things. Moses, okay. But then Moses pivots into this, I’ve got some insider information you don’t, you just don’t know, you don’t know. And it’s amazing because as humans, we don’t, we can’t see very far and we can’t see very much, but we often presume to tell God everything we feel like he needs to know to get things right. Yes.

Chris:
Right. And you know, by the way, you know what is also narcissistic? And I blew this whole joke. I blew the whole joke. I was going to say leaving, not returning your shopping carts. I blew the joke.

Jeff:
I never pronounced narcissistic. That’s a callback from like episode two. Right. So that’s funny. It was in episode two, but it’s a long time ago.

Chris:
Yeah. I told Kyle Crenshaw, who’s the campus executive campus pastor over in the city campus, returning shopping carts, not returning them is a really big thing with him. And he actually used it recently in a sermon. And I said, I said, you should have said it’s the beginning of narcissism.

Jeff:
It is.

Chris:
There you go. So, yeah, and so Moses goes back and pleads. And by the way, we never talked about the fact that God says, reach out and grab the snake by its tail.

Jeff:
Yeah. No, thank you. No, thank you.

Chris:
You’re supposed to grab a snake by its head or near its neck.

Jeff:
That’s right.

Chris:
Right. You’re not supposed to grab it by its tail because if you do that, then, you know, it’s, it’s, it’s now the more docile snakes I’ve seen snake handlers, grab them by their tails. You know, the ones that aren’t going to be lethal. I’ve seen that before. But you know, if it’s a snake, that’s, I guess it doesn’t say Cobra.

Jeff:
Do you hang out a lot with, uh, with snake handlers?

Chris:
Personally I mean like if you watch movies. Oh, okay take movies

Jeff:
I was going to say, some of my snake handling friends.

Chris:
And you watch those documentaries, right?

Jeff:
Oh, yeah.

Chris:
Yeah. They pick up a snake. Sometimes they’ll do it by its tail or sometimes like little video clips.

Jeff:
In all fairness, I have been with snake handlers several times. So yeah. Yeah. So sometimes I’m making fun of you and I’m the nerd.

Chris:
Well, I just realized even by me making that comment, I just assumed it was a cobra. I assumed it was a deadly snake. A deadly snake. But it doesn’t say that, does it? Is that what it says? No, it doesn’t say that at all. But I picture myself like in the Middle East. Remember, did I ever tell you the time I went to… Everything in the Middle East is trying to kill you. Yes. When I went to Africa, and this is a quick story, there was a pastor there, Pastor Abraham. And he says, I said, hey, I have to use the restroom. And it was number one, right? And he says, and I said, where’s the restroom? And then he motioned to the entire plane. It’s all the restroom. And he goes, yeah, right here, just go use the restroom. Well, you know that there’s like little bushes, right? But there’s no big tall trees. Sure. So these bushes maybe stand up like waist high. Right. Right. And that’s, and so you could basically see forever. Sure. Well, I, I decided to walk far away from the village because I didn’t want anybody to see me. I didn’t want to be rude. Right. Right. So I’m like, okay, so I leave that little enclosed village in the fences. I walk really far and I find a bush and I’m standing behind this bush and I look over and as I’m in the middle of my deal, I look over and there’s a black Mamba snake. And I just researched black mambas. I just, I knew exactly what it looked like. I looked over and it was probably, uh, maybe I’m trying to measure here. I would say 12 to 15 feet away. Wow. Okay.

Jeff:
And they jumped that far. Mambas are fast. Yeah.

Chris:
And they jumped that far and they’re fast. So it was 15 feet away and it was curled up. And so right away I’m thinking to myself like, okay, hope I didn’t eat like asparagus or something like, you know, make it mad, make it mad. So I mean, I, So I thought to myself, okay, immediately I have to, I have to, uh, you know, stop. And which by the way is difficult. And then I just decided to move slowly away. And then I decided to, you know, go far away and I was scared out of my mind. Right. And then I go somewhere else. I finished up, I go back to the, to the, to the village. I look over pastor Abraham and I am just literally just, I’m shaking. I’m sweating. I’m scared out of my mind. I thought to myself, by the way, did I mention that we had to drive 11 hours to get there? And then we parked the car and walked an hour. And if you get bit by a black mamba, if you’re not treated in 30 minutes, you’re dead. So, so literally that was death. That was literal death.

Jeff:
Yeah. There’s no hope.

Chris:
And so anyway, I go back to the village and I said to Abraham, I go, you’ll never believe what just happened. And I, and I just explained this whole thing in a dramatic fashion. And he said, uh, he did hand motions. Okay. So for the listeners who aren’t listening to me, he made hand motions like a circle and then hand motions like a wavy snake. And he goes, uh, was, he says, was the black Mamba like this? And he did a circle motion and he goes, or was it like this? And he did a waiting motion. And I said, well, it was like this. I did the circle motion. He goes, Oh, you’re fine. That’s what he says. So, so he didn’t even, didn’t even fret.

Jeff:
No big deal.

Chris:
No big deal. Yeah. You’re fine.

Jeff:
Yeah. But this one, uh, it was like this. It was wavy because he had to reach down and grab it by the tail.

Chris:
But it may have been a docile snake. Yeah. Non-poisonous.

Jeff:
I doubt it. I doubt it too. It wouldn’t have been that cool of a trick if, uh, if God did a gardener snake. That’s right. Yeah, that’s it. So I’m going to, I’m going to assume considering how important cobras were.

Chris:
So as important as cobras were in Egyptian art, headdresses, paintings, all this stuff, I’m going to guess it was a cobra.

Jeff:
Yeah, me too. And guess what? Because God’s trying to establish this dominance over the gods of Egypt. And cobras were an Egyptian god.

Chris:
Yeah. And Charlton Heston’s was a cobra. Yeah.

Jeff:
Yeah. So there you go. Proof. Proof right there.

Chris:
Proof. We got it on video. I don’t think it’s getting any better.

Jeff:
We better shut this one down.

Chris:
We’re at 23 minutes. This is so silly. We better shut this one down. All right. I think, I think that’s okay. That’s we got a little video. Do you need some help? This is bad. I’m trying to wrap up with a good thought here. I don’t want to leave on just crying and laughing. So I guess there’s a lot of sermons in here, right?

Jeff:
Do what God tells you to do and He’ll help you out.

Chris:
Yeah. you know, when he says, please send somebody else, I think sometimes what we do is we come up with excuses. There’s another sermon. We come up with excuses, but we’re trying to hide the real reason. We just don’t want to do it. Right. We didn’t mention that yet. The fact that we said, well, you know, if I do give this money to help this lady down the street, you know, I won’t have enough to do this or this or that, you know, or we’ll try to justify, well, if I do go here, it might cost me, I might be late for this, you know, and we’ll come up with any excuse that we can. You know, but if God nudges us to do a specific thing, the reality is sometimes we actually just don’t want to do it. That’s right. And so, and God can see right through that. And it’s only when God said, only when Moses said, no, that God actually got angry, which is what we mentioned at the beginning. So, all right, that’s good. So we’ll leave on that note.

Jeff:
And we’re going to try harder tomorrow.

Chris:
It’ll be better tomorrow. We’ll see you next time on The Bible Guys.