Transcription

Connor:
You’re listening to The Bible Guys, a podcast where a couple of friends talk about the Bible in fun and practical ways.

Chris:
So, Jeff, I was approached last Sunday. You know, the roll in currently says a couple of guys, a couple of friends talk about the Bible in fun and practical ways. That’s correct. And he said that he thought for several episodes, apparently, that it was impractical ways.

Jeff:
Fun and practical ways.

Chris:
Yes. Well, that’s probably more accurate. Fun, comma, impractical ways. That’s great. They talk about the Bible in fun and practical ways.

Jeff:
It is a little presumptuous for us to say that everything we say is practical.

Chris:
That’s true. That’s true.

Jeff:
So fun, impractical ways.

Chris:
And he keeps listening. Well, he finally figured it out. He’s like, oh, it’s and practical ways.

Jeff:
Yes. We should reshoot that roll in to have a pause. Fun and practical ways.

Chris:
Right. And also things that are practical. Ways of practice.

Jeff:
So whichever way works for you, that’s the way we’re doing it.

Chris:
That’s correct. That’s correct. So today we’re going to open up with a Friday segment.

Jeff:
This is so incredibly important, right? We hope that you had an amazing week last week.

Chris:
Yes, I did.

Jeff:
And this week also, right? It’s kind of been a staycation for you this week. We drug you out of your staycation into the studio today for our listeners, right? The sacrifices you make for our listeners are incredible.

Chris:
It’s just boundless.

Jeff:
Now I’ve found staycations are mostly workcations.

Chris:
Is that what it is? That’s exactly what I’m doing.

Jeff:
Yeah. I always tell my wife, I don’t want to do staycations. I want cation. I want a vacation. I don’t want to staycation because staycations are workcations.

Chris:
Yeah. I’ve actually worked harder in the last three days than I’ve physically than I have in like months and months and months.

Jeff:
Yeah. So if, if you’re, uh, uh, watching on YouTube right now, or one of the other platforms, uh, and you see how haggard and worn out Chris looks, he’s not dying. He’s not sick. He’s just been doing chores all week.

Chris:
That’s right. Is that it? In fact, I look sort of tan in my face and in my arms, but look at this.

Jeff:
You got that farmer.

Chris:
Look, it’s not even a joke.

Jeff:
Look at that. It’s crazy. That’s what I have too. Well, that’s great. Well, nothing says welcome back, like jumping into our favorite segment, right? And so what made you mad this week?

Chris:
Well, I have one, Jeff. Really? That’s incredible.

Jeff:
Go ahead and pause and think about it for a second.

Chris:
No, no. You’re already ready. Sometimes I do have to think, but I was so mad yesterday. But I’m mad for the world, Jeff. Not for me. Not for you. So what ends up happening is, my wife and I just had our 32nd wedding anniversary yesterday. Wow. Congratulations. 32 years. 32 years. My condolences, Liz. Yeah, that’s right. So I had to run because we were having company. We had company over. And so I only had a limited amount of time. So I run into the florist and I have this thing. It’s not been every year, but I try on our anniversary to buy the number of roses that were married. So it started off just as one rose. Yeah, that was easy. Year one was easy, right?

Jeff:
And you never expected to make it this far.

Chris:
So now the bill is quite high, right? So I go into a place and I say, hey, give me 32 roses, you know, fully made up an arrangement. Well, she’s like, well, that’s $200. Right. I’m like, well, you know, it is what it is. This is an anniversary tradition that I’ve been doing for a very long time. And again, I’ve missed a couple of years for sure. But anyway, so I want to get these 32 red roses. Well, this time I don’t have time for her to wait to make it. So I called her on the phone. I said, hey, if I were to have you make this arrangement, how much would it be? She said $200. And I was like, ah, I don’t know if I have the time. Well, then our guests were late. So I just had to run over there. And I said, you know what? I’ll just grab them. Like, I’ll just have them wrap them up. I’ll come home and I’ll make the arrangement. Right. So just, just wrap them up for me. So I went into the place and, uh, and I said, Hey, just, just wrap up these roses, grab me that vase over there and throw some baby’s breath on you, wrap those up. And how much will it be? So she adds up on a calculator and she goes 198 55. And I said, wait a minute, if I would have called and waited 45 minutes, you would have done the arrangement. You would have only gotten paid $2 of labor. Like, are you like, I’m doing, I’m doing the, I’m doing the arrangement myself. I’m coming home and I’m cutting all of them and putting them all together. And I was like, and it’s going to be $198. And she’s like, I don’t know what to tell you. It’s just the price. And I was like, wow. But then I started to think, well, maybe they were giving me a deal on making the arrangement. So I’m like, no big deal. So I go to pay and she goes, okay, it’s going to ask you a series of questions. Okay. And literally instinctively I hit the 10% button. Cause there’s 10, 15, 20, 25. We know it’s 10% of $200. 20 bucks. And I hit the button, and there’s no way to go back. So now I have this uncomfortable, because I instinctively hit it real quick, and I thought, I didn’t mean to hit that, because then it says you’re going to add $20 under your… And I’m like, this lady, who literally turned around and grabbed something wrapped up and gives it to me, a $20 tip for a florist?

Jeff:
That’s super generous of you, Chris.

Chris:
Are you kidding me? So guess what I do? I’m literally like, cancel. I canceled it. And she goes, what are you doing? I’m like, I’m like, I’m forced to say, well, I believe that there are certain jobs that are created for tips and certain jobs that aren’t supposed to be tips. Right. Because this isn’t a tip. A tip is like somebody who serves you. Oh, right. Right. Like, you know, like they wait on you.

Jeff:
Right. Like they actually make an arrangement for you. Well, if she made you an arrangement, that’d be fine, but she just grabbed the flowers, stuck them in the box and sold the tree for the same price.

Chris:
I don’t know. I don’t think I would have tipped it even if she would have done the arrangement because this is their job. It’s not a tip paying job.

Jeff:
Right. Right. Okay.

Chris:
So anyway, here’s what makes me mad.

Jeff:
You can’t blame a person for hustling.

Chris:
It has not become a thing until COVID, right? Yeah. Since COVID, people have said, oh, there’s a series of questions. I saw a meme. It was like one of these little church memes, you know, the church and there’s a, there’s a worship leader in the lobby at a church. This is like a little, not a meme, a little video, whatever. Guys walk around the church lobby and somebody walks up to them and says, oh, They’re like, the worship was so great today. And the guy turns around with his iPhone and it has tips and he goes, Oh, that’s so great. Thank you so much here. Go ahead and answer a series of questions. But that’s what makes me mad. The, the idea that you are somehow socially obligated and they play on the idea that like, uh, you know, people who aren’t like me would absolutely hit 10% and pay $20 tip for to turn around and hand me a vase. Right. I’m going to pay you 20 bucks. Wow. No, thanks. Wow.

Jeff:
I wonder why the price was so close.

Chris:
I know, I know.

Jeff:
Maybe when you buy the flowers, they do a free arrangement.

Chris:
Well, maybe, maybe. Cause at first I was mad. And then I thought the positive side of things, giving them the benefit of the doubt, which is like, Hey, maybe the service just comes with free arrangements.

Jeff:
Or she knows that you’re under the gun.

Chris:
Maybe, but listen, I wasn’t going to bark. I wasn’t going to bark at the price. Cause I know that.

Jeff:
So I just had some friends that celebrated like their 67th anniversary. What are you going to do then? It’s going to cost you like a thousand dollars for flowers.

Chris:
Well, no. Jeff, do the math. Math is math.

Jeff:
Yeah, well, inflation is inflation. Oh, that’s true. Right? 32 years ago, were you spending the kind of money you’re spending now per rose? No.

Chris:
Wow. Well, hopefully I’m making $1,000 more per month.

Jeff:
So congratulations to you.

Chris:
Yeah.

Jeff:
Right. You’re punching way above your weight. Yeah. And my condolences to Liz.

Chris:
Your 32nd anniversary is also this year?

Jeff:
Yeah. Is it 32 or 33? 32. Is it 32? Yeah. We’re the same age, get married at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yes. 32.

Chris:
Yeah. And it’s coming up, what, December? December. Yeah.

Jeff:
Yeah. So, and I’m the luckiest guy in the world. So, okay. So we should move into, Hey, here’s another audible we’re calling because we were supposed to move on to Debra, which is, we’re going to move to next week, which is really great. She’s the first woman judge of Israel. So that’s going to be really cool, but I didn’t want to miss this one. So of all of the judges, the one I used to giggle the most about when we would read them is this one. Ehud. So Aphneal was the first judge. He delivered the people of Israel. He defeated a king that was such a bad guy and all this kind of stuff. And the people followed him for, what was it, like 40 years. But then Ehud comes along because the people forget And it says this, in Judges chapter 3 verse 12, So God took this wicked king and used him to put control over Israel, right? So it’s pretty amazing. the Ammonites and the Amalekites as allies and they went out and defeated Israel taking possession of Jericho the city of palms and the Israelites served Aglon of Moab for 18 years but when the people of Israel cried out to the Lord for help the Lord again raised up a rescuer to save them his name was Ehud son of Gera a left-handed man of the tribe of Benjamin The Israelites sent Ehud to deliver their tribute money to King Eglon of Moab. So Ehud made a double-edged dagger that was about a foot long, and he strapped it to his right thigh, keeping it hidden under his clothing. He brought the tribute money to Eglon, who was very fat. After delivering the payment, Ehud started home with those who had helped carry the tribute. But when Ehud reached the stone idols near Gilgal, he turned back and he came to Eglon and said, I have a secret message for you. So the king commanded his servants, be quiet. And he sent them all out of the room. Ehud walked over to Eglon, who was sitting alone in a cool upstairs room. And Ehud said, I have a message from God for you. As King Egalon rose from his seat, Ehud reached with his left hand, pulled out the dagger strapped to his right thigh, and plunged it into the king’s belly. The dagger went so deep that the handle disappeared beneath the king’s fat. So Ehud did not pull out the dagger, and the king’s bowels emptied. Then Ehud closed and locked the doors of the room and escaped down the latrine. Ew. Yes. After Ehud was gone, the king’s servants returned and found the doors to the upstairs room locked. They thought he might be using the latrine in the room, so they waited. But when the king didn’t come out after a long delay, they became concerned he got a key. When they opened the doors, they found their master dead on the floor. While the servants were waiting, he had escaped, passing the stone idols on his way to Syrah. When he arrived in the hill country of Ephraim, Ehud sounded a call to arms and then he led the band of Israelites down from the hills. Follow me, he said, for the Lord has given you victory over Moab, your enemy. So they followed him and the Israelites took control of the shallow crossings of the Jordan River across from Moab, preventing anyone from crossing. They attacked the Moabites and killed about 10,000 of their strongest, most able-bodied warriors. Not one of them escaped. So Moab was conquered by Israel that day. There was peace in the land for 80 years. 80 years, right? Well, then let me read one more verse because here’s another one, Shamgar. It says, after Ehud, Shamgar of Anath rescued Israel. He once killed 600 Philistines with an ox goad. The end. The end. He got one verse. Good job, Shamgar.

Chris:
Yeah, hey An ox goad. What’s an ox goad?

Jeff:
It’s a it’s a it’s what you’re used to prod Yeah, it’s a prod the the cattle to keep going.

Chris:
Yeah, that must have been it’s just a little poker Well, it must have been one heck of a poker. Yeah

Jeff:
600 Philistines.

Chris:
Yeah. I mean, you would think that if you’re like in the 400th, you know, regiment of Philistines going against this guy swinging an ox goad that you would figure out how to, you know, overcome the fighting pattern of the ox goad. Yeah. But no, apparently not.

Jeff:
Yeah. So people could use it like a fighting spear, not a throwing spear, but a fighting spear is how it would have been used. Yeah. So, uh, that’s, that’s quite a feat by the way. Right.

Chris:
Well, which one?

Jeff:
Yeah. Well, uh, Shamgar’s killing 600 people with, uh, you know, Philistine soldiers with a, An ox goad. And so the message there is, and I preach this message that he did what he could. He used what he had where he was. So he was out in the field. He had an ox goad and he did what he could because the Philistines were raiders. So they would come in and just plunder villages and take everything. So the Israelites would grow all the food. And then the Philistines would just wait around to harvest. They’d harvest. In fact, the Philistines would wait around until they’d taken the wheat and threshed it and turned it into, you know, flour. And then they’d come through and just steal everything. And they’d kill everybody, burn the villages. They’d come back and do it again next year, come back and do it again next year. So it was perpetual plundering of all of the work that Israel would do. And so it left the people of Israel starving and hungry and always, you know, in poverty. And so I just love it.

Chris:
You’ve just described the plot of a bug’s life.

Jeff:
There you go. Yeah, very sophisticated. I love how you think, Chris. Hopper and his gang. Yeah. That’s so funny. Shamgar’s just out in the field. Philistine’s come and he’s like, nope, this is done. I’m going to do what I can. Yeah. And so he, right where he was, he picked up his ox goad.

Chris:
Yeah. Flick the ant built a bird. He didn’t, he didn’t take an ox goad.

Jeff:
Okay, so hey we got to get into the ehud story.

Chris:
Yeah, cuz this is one of the craziest. Yeah, what cuz Wow? Yeah, right, so I don’t think that there’s a story that is Is there a more gross story? It’s pretty gross, right? I mean think about it I mean, you know, I’m thinking about where it says David snuck into the cave and Saul was relieving himself But all that happened in there was he just cut off a hem of his garment, right? It’s just the fact that you know that that Saul was going to the bathroom. That’s really the only reference there This is stabbing into a guy that’s so fat. Yeah. That literally the handle of the blade of a one foot knife. It was a foot long. It was a foot long.

Jeff:
This 12 inches. He stabs the guy in, and it’s this big.

Chris:
Well, the 12 inches was the blade, wasn’t it? Right, the blade. Which means the handle is another five inches. Right? So you’re talking like a foot and a half. Yeah. And then it says he emptied his bowels. Right. Do you think that means it comes out of his, like his guts came out? Or do you think like he… Emptied his bowels?

Jeff:
He emptied his bowels. I don’t know. Yeah, because it could be… It could be either way. It could be both. Yeah. In the King James Bible, it says, and the dirt came out.

Chris:
in the dirt came out. Yeah.

Jeff:
So that’s even worse. So it’s yeah. Yeah. I think it’s emptied his bowels.

Chris:
Yeah. The other way. Yeah. Yeah.

Jeff:
So, so this is an upstairs room. Yeah. And it wasn’t uncommon. My, my wife and I were just in Europe and we, we went and visited a bunch of castles and it was funny how many of these little toilet rooms were just off the side. Right. And it was just a hole that just dropped down to the side of the, the wall of the, of the castle, right? That’s kind of a medieval solution. So very similar to this. It’s probably, it’s an upstairs room for sure. We know that part. And there was a latrine, there was a toilet there. So very likely it was just a little room that, a seat that stuck out, you know, from the wall and he’d do his business. And so this guy, he gets stabbed, you know, Eglon, he’s a bad man and Ehud comes in. But the thing I love about it is Ehud is, the Bible takes great care to remind us, or to let us know he’s a left-handed fighter from the tribe of Benjamin, right? So, left-handedness, historically, especially in ancient times, was considered, for some, was considered a curse, but was always considered an extreme disadvantage, almost like a disability. But the fighters in Benjamin, there’s also, you remember, it also talks about there were some left-handed slingers, people who would use slings, and they were left-handed from Benjamin as well. These very, very skilled fighters. So for whatever reason, on a genetic level or whatever, the tribe of Benjamin, which is a small tribe, there were a lot of left-handed fighters. And this was an advantage because nobody expected that he’d be carrying a weapon. Right? And so he comes in with his weapon underneath his, inside of his thigh, underneath his skirt or his robe. And he comes, hey, I got a message from you from God. What a crazy phrase.

Chris:
It’s a crazy phrase. Here’s a message. Because he didn’t say anything while he did it.

Jeff:
Yeah. Yeah. And it’s a full-on assassination. And the only thing he says is, I have a message for you from God. And then loses his knife inside the guy’s gut.

Chris:
Well, you know, what’s interesting about this is that the Bible doesn’t give us any insight as to whether or not this message was given to Ehud. Like, did God say to Ehud, this is what you shall do. You shall take a knife. You shall put it on your inner thigh. Right? Right. Like, God, like, could this have been an orchestrated plan from God? Because I’m under the belief that, you know, just because it’s not recorded doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

Jeff:
Yeah. It says, when the people of Israel cried out to the Lord for help. So this is their repentance moment. Right. It says the Lord again, raised up a rescuer to save them. But it doesn’t say that he directly communicated with him. I think it’s likely that God put it on his heart to say, Hey, you’re the one that’s going to deliver the people of Israel. But it doesn’t say what God told him to do.

Chris:
Yeah. Well, raised up. Or did he just work this out? Think about the phrase, God raised them up. That’s about as generic as saying, Apollo Creed then trained Rocky to defeat Cleber Lang.

Jeff:
Yeah.

Chris:
Right? So it’s like, oh, well, how long did that process take? Well, in the movie, about a year almost, right? Or whatever it was. I don’t know how long it was, to be honest with you. But the point is, is that, you know, God raised him up. What does that even mean? You know, God called him. Did God designate him? Did he, did he, did he pray? Was he selected? Was he appointed? Was he announced? Right. So all of those things. So, so really it just sort of skims over it, which again, you know, there’s only one verse on Shamgar. So, you know, once upon a time, you know, it seems to me like there should be more verses for Shamgar.

Jeff:
He killed 600 Philistines with an ox goat. I’d like to just hear a little more about that.

Chris:
Did you ever hear Brian Regan talk about lazy writing? He said one of the most lazy phrases are one thing led to another. He says, he goes, he goes, there was a boy, there was a boy born. His name was Hitler. He was six years old. And then one thing led to another. And then we dropped a bomb on Hiroshima. It’s terrible. It’s terrible. But the point is, is that, is that like, uh, there’s a lot left out. There’s a lot left out. So anyway, my point is, is that we don’t know whether this was Iyad’s idea or whether it was God announced. Yeah. Right. So Iyad could have been like, Hey, Iyad, you’re the answer. And then Iyad says, okay, uh, I think I know what I’m going to do.

Jeff:
It’s the same thing with Shamgar. It doesn’t say that God said, Hey, Shamgar, enough’s enough. Right. Right. He just decided to do what he could do where he was with what he had and trusted that God was going to… Which I believe that that’s probably… That’s very likely with Shamgar. With all these guys, Othniel is the same.

Chris:
Well, I was going to say that I think it’s likely with Ehud, too. Yeah. Because if God says, hey, your job is to be the deliverer, then Ehud’s probably thinking, well, I know what to do because I’m a warrior. Yeah. And all my life people have underestimated me because I’m left-handed. Right. And I think I can get away with this. I think this is what I should do.

Jeff:
So by the time you get to Ehud’s time, In Benjamin, it was actually seen as an extreme advantage because everybody else was right-handed, fight left-handed. Remember in Princess Bride? He’s going to fight left-handed.

Chris:
Oh, yeah. Remember he says, I have a secret finger.

Jeff:
I’m not really left-handed, right? So there’s this, Larry Bird did that. Did you ever hear Larry Bird? He came in one time and told some rookie who was going to guard him, Hey, I’m going to make it easy on you tonight. I’m just going to shoot left-handed. He scored like 54 points left-handed. Never took a right-handed shot. Yeah, it’s amazing. I can’t remember what the total points were, but it was an insane number of points he scores left-handed, but he’s a right-handed guy, right? So most people, if the guy you’re going to defend today tells you, I’m going to shoot with my left hand, you’d think it was a disadvantage. Right? So the people in Benjamin saw their left-handedness and their skill with their left hand as an advantage because everybody else only prepared to fight right-handed people. Right? So there’s this really great note in the Life Application Study Bible. It says, this unusual story demonstrates how God can use us just the way he made us. Being left-handed in Ehud’s day among the the Benjamites was considered an exceptional ability. Many Benjaminites were left-handed. You can see that Judges chapter 20 it talks about too. Making them highly specialized troops able to use a sling or a bow with tactics designed to repel right-handed warriors. Eglon’s bodyguard never checked Israel’s messenger for left-handed weapons. but God used Ehud’s overlooked ability to give Israel victory. Let God use you the way you are to accomplish his work.

Chris:
There it is.

Jeff:
Isn’t that great? That’s great. So Eglon’s people, they didn’t think of left-handedness as an advantage. It’s, what are the chances? that a guy is going to come in left-handed and try to attack the king. It’s so silly. Now to the Benjaminites, it was an advantage, obviously, but to the Moabites, it was something to totally overlook. Right? And God used the overlooked thing. The only thing that seems to be outstanding about him is the fact that he was left-handed. Right. Right. And a lot of times we think God can’t use us. right? Because there’s nothing outstanding about me. And, but God used the one thing that gave him the advantage and God could see in Ehud what Ehud probably didn’t even see in himself, right? Or didn’t realize. So then he kills this guy and he escapes down the latrine. That part’s gross. But then what I love is he escapes and then he goes out and he rallies the troops and he goes, Hey, everybody, God’s going to give us the victory. Let’s go back. and win this battle. And, you know, they wipe out 10,000 Moabites of the strongest and most able-bodied warriors. Right?

Chris:
Have you ever seen Slumdog Millionaire? No. Really? Yes. There’s a kid who escapes through a latrine and it’s the grossest scene ever, ever, ever, ever.

Jeff:
Yeah. There was a military story, too, of they escaped through the latrines from a Nazi camp. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, it happens. But anyways, this is just one of my favorite stories as a kid.

Chris:
Andy Dufresne escaped through 500 yards of latrine pipe when he escaped Shawshank Redemption.

Jeff:
Yeah, I didn’t see Shawshank Redemption either.

Chris:
What is happening? What is happening? Sometimes Millionaire I thought was bad enough. Shawshank Redemption is one of the most renowned movies in the world.

Jeff:
I never saw it.

Chris:
You know what has the highest IMDB rating? Does it? Yes. I’ve never seen it. Oh, goodness gracious.

Jeff:
So anyways, the whole message here for this, before I get judged too much by Zarba and by all of our listeners, is that God made you just the way you are, and He plans to use you for great things, right? If you just trust Him. But can you imagine the courage it took? He comes in, He delivers, which is really smart. He delivers their taxes. He scopes out the situation, looks around, they leave. And then he doesn’t put everybody else at risk. This is why I don’t think God spoke out loud to him and said, Hey, I’m going to give you this victory. I think God impressed on him. Hey, you should try this. Because he leaves there. He doesn’t put any of the other people he traveled with at risk. He comes back. Now one guy, no big deal. They pat him down. He doesn’t have a knife. And so he goes in, you know, they, they don’t find it because he’s left-handed. And then he has the courage to, to go in and actually execute this guy. And that there’s a lot of, uh, you just imagine the fear and the uncertainty of it. But then once he has his victory, he escapes out the latrine and then he rallies the troops and says, Hey, let’s go back. And, and God delivers the people. And then according to this, it says that, uh, uh, he provided safety and security and peace for the nation for 80 years. He was the most successful of all the judges, but That’s the only thing the Bible tells us about him. There was peace for 80 years. It’s noteworthy. Yeah. It was just this one thing. And sometimes, you know what? God is going to invite you to do one super great thing in your life. And he’s going to use something that’s super normal to do it. And it’s going to make a difference for a whole generation. Well, 80 years was two generations.

Chris:
Right. Right. That’s amazing. Well, hey, it looks like we are past our time. So thank you for listening. We are The Bible Guys, and hopefully we’ll see you next time.